Andy Palasciano

Take Me to the River

My uncle received as a gift a fish

that was on a plaque that you hang on the wall,

and when someone would walk by,

 the fish would begin to sing the Talking Heads song

“Take Me to the River.” (Drop me in the water)

There was also a gift we got for my brother and his wife

that was a phone with a statue of Elvis.

When it would ring, Elvis would start dancing and singing

“You ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog.”

My brother’s wife finally said, “This is crazy,” and got rid of it.

I had a similar reaction when I had a school bus with

Simpsons characters on it.  They all had lines they would say

when you would tap their heads.  I put it in my closet and,

for no reason, Ralph, with his high-pitched voice, would

always come on with nobody touching it.  I moved that school bus

farther and farther in my closet as, in the middle of the night, 

I would hear Ralph’s voice.  One night, I was so freaked out 

when Ralph started talking, that I grabbed the school bus,

went outside and threw it in the trash.