Tuesday, April 14, 2026

Carl Stilwell AKA CaLokie

A TRADER JOE’S SUPERMARKET IN MANHATTAN 


I saw Walt Whitman at Trader Joe’s the other day. “Good 

call,” he said smiling as I placed two five-ounce cups 

of Greek nonfat blueberry yogurt in my shopping cart. 

“Delicious and healthy while only 130 calories.”


“Yeah,” I replied. “My stomach feels so good every 

time I eat some and it doesn’t exit my body too hard 

like an egg, potato, and cheese burrito nor loose as 

chocolate candy bars or a bag of roasted peanuts.”


The Ancient Mariner from Samuel Coleridge’s poem 

appeared. “Every year 8 million tons of plastic are dumped 

into our oceans,” he said. “Plastics, plastics, every where 

while albatross chicks with bellies bloated with 

plastic bits are dying of starvation.”


Mary Oliver pushed her shopping cart over. 

“Did you know,” she said, “during the course of 

their lives the albatross, while traveling thousands 

of miles on their migratory journeys, spend up 

to five years in the skies without touching land?”


“What’s does Samuel Coleridge’s poem have to do with us?” 

Whitman asked. “This store is too far from the ocean 

and the plastic cup will most likely end in a landfill 

after it’s thrown away.”


Dorothy Parker behind Mary Oliver said, “Whether thrown away 

and ending in a landfill or the Great Pacific Garbage Patch,

it will take centuries for a plastic bottle to decompose 

after a few minutes gulp of a soda pop.”


“Thank you for this information, Ms Parker,” Whitman said.

“Obviously, we the consumers of America need to recycle 

more and throw away less.”


Edna St. Vincent Millay was shopping with Dorothy Parker 

“What good would that do, Walt?” she asked?  “Globally we 

recycle less than 10% of all the plastic we produce.”


“When I was a kid,” I said, “I’d walk to a grocery store with 

an empty quart of milk glass bottle and pay only 10¢ instead of 

15¢ if I hadn’t brought the bottle. I don’t understand why they 

stopped making glass bottles you can use for deposit today.” 


Pablo Neruda hearing us from a refrigerated counter, 

dropped a package of Chilean sea bass in his shopping bag 

and said, “Es muy facil, companero.  By reducing labor costs 

which comes with the washing and reusing of glass bottles, 

food and soda drink corporations make greater profits 

increasing size of landfills and ocean plastic garbage 

patches than manufacturing glass bottles which can 

be used over and over again.”


Whitman shook his head. “I noticed your sea bass was wrapped 

in plastic over a styrofoam rectangle plate, Pablo,”


Emily Dickinson wearing a gray house robe over a striped calico 

dress and walking in slippers passed by. “That’s because 

they don’t wrap meat in paper anymore, Walt.”


Pablo Neruda was about to comment when 

Thoreau rolled his cart by, “You mean to tell me 

that for nearly 300,000 years we have lived without 

plastics and all of a sudden, we can’t live without them.”


Allen Ginsberg walked in Trader Joe’s. “Hey, Walt baby,” 

he said grinning!


“Hello, Allen,” Whitman smiled back.


“Do you still hear America singing?” Ginsberg asked.



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